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As the day of moving approaches, I have become less and less motivated. Im not sure as to why this is happening. I have a few theories, but still not exactly sure why. I have always been excited for change and usually welcomed the adventures. For the first time in my life, I am not excited about moving. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy to have our family together after many months apart. Im not a physiologist but Im sure this move has much to do with the acceptance of my husbands health issues right now.

How often do we try to pretend something isn’t true because we don’t want to accept the truth. Hidding from the truth doesn’t make it go away.

My husband’s first go around with medical issues, his family didn’t accept it. They even took it as far as saying he was making it all up! Ridiculous right! I guess if accepting it would put them in a place of having to be compassionate and caring, being held at a higher standard of being a caring human who couldn’t consciously go on living their life without acknowledging we might need families help during that time.

This response has put a rightous rage in my heart. Watching my husband die while his family say hes making it up! Ya so, my husbands side of the family is pretty much not in our lives for a long time now. Its very, very sad that to get out of helping other people, we just pretend its not real!

It has been a good example to show my kids what people with out God are like.

I know my husband is sick, I dont ignor it or pretend its not real like those certain people have. It hurts watching loved ones in pain. Seeing my husband over facetime and not in person has created a false sense of reality for us. I think this is what my subconscious is not looking forward too. The true acceptance of seeing and feeling the reality of his cancer. The day after we arrive he is having a biopsy done. So we are jumping right into the pool of reality literally the day after!

I know our human bodies have procceses to go through, God designed us this way for a reason. Im going through this proccess right now, just as there is a processes to grieve. There is a process for accepting as well.

I fully trust in God, he has given me strength and peace during this time. I can look back and reflect on the healing miracles he has already done in our lives, and find peace there too.

Please pray for us as the next step in our crazy lives starts next week!


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